i just wanna throw everything away from my heart :)

halooo semua. bagaimana dunia memperlakukan kalian? (re:how's life treating you?) kalau bagiku dunia semakin jahat :( hmm, gue mau cerita sesuatu yang pasti dibilang gue labil. yah, sudah wajar ya masa-masa remaja di umur yg seperti gue ini orang labil. besok gue harus daftar ke 70, tapi tiba-tiba ada sesuatu yang bikin gue gamau pindah, ya dan itu cuman gue yang tau, temen-temen gue dan keluargapun gatau. kalau ditanya nyokap kenapa gamau pindah emang? gue slalu bilang mau tapi mau tetep tinggal disini. ya sebenernya emang sih alesannya gue gabisa pisah dari temen-temen gue yang sekarang, pisah sama adek-adek gue. gue slalu mikir apa bakal ada temen baru yang mengerti gue? apa ada temen baru yang mau dengerin curhatan gue yang itu-itu aja? apa ada temen baru yang terima kegilaan gue? apa ada temen baru yang bisa diajak bolos kalau lagi ngantuk ke sekolah? LOL kayaknya semua itu gue cuman dapet di GS ya hehepasti suasana berubah :( ohya, skrg gue lagi UN looh, tp sangkin stressnya sama masalah sekolah baru ini gue jd ganiat belajar :( di tambah ada satu masalah lagi yang selalu terbayang", padahal kalau msalah yg ini selesai gue bisa loh pindah dengan damai. ya i'm the one who knows it! ohya gue juga belom mau pisah sama anak-anak 9E!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO DAYUUUUUUM MUAAAACHHHHH! apalagi tere mia debo ceping dkk. :(:( ah udah ya itu aja tolong ya semua doakan gue, semoga gue bsa bersabar menghadapi dunia yang hina ini. dan bisa berserah sama rencana Tuhan :(

i know God has a plan for me and his plan is better than my plan :) 

closer to you - josef hedinger

its pouring down like rain
and no denyin it, baby
and now it's started to flame
Oh boy you got me going insane in a good way
can't get you off of my brain
ain't that a shame

if there is just one thing that i gotta do
is wrap my arms around you
and hold you close and never let you go

can I get closer?
can I get closer?
can I get closer?
closer to you

now can i wipe away your tears?
wipe away your fears?
be the woman that you need me to be
can i get closer?
closer to you

now lately i've been thinking bout him
and i just dont understand
how God can make a man so handsome?
so perfect for one woman

coz when i wake in the morning
and i think about your face
no one in this world could ever take your place
its u me, we are meant to be, baby oh

and now im thinkin to myself whats goin on?
coz its too good to be true
but then i remember there's a God up there sayin'
girl, this one's for you

nb: and now i'm feelin like it's so hard for me to get close to you like we used to :(

crazy little sister called emily ;)

hellooooow people :) i just cameroid-ed some picts w my crazy little sister ;) her name is emily, wanna see some? here they are:

that's all :):) 

over sensitivity.

HELL-O people, how's life treating you? well life's trating me like b*tch now HEEEEEELLLL! everyone's changing, C-H-A-N-G-I-N-G bestfriends become strangers, strangers become bestfriends thats totally awkward. except those changes of people around me, my heat is also changing *ababil* it's acting OVER SENSITIVE well, i'm an sensitive person but before it i wasn't OVERLY SENSITIVE! and you know what, it kills me :( what would you say if a friend of you or even bestfriend speak bad things about you INFRONT  of you with her innocent face?! i won't yell at her or even get mad, but please my heart's breaking! heart breaks not only because of love things but it also breaks because of any judgments, wrong opinion! fyi, i don't hate people breaking my heart i just feel like it's better for me to take far steps from them, you probably know what i mean! okay than the second one is, what would you feel if someone called herself your bestfriend actin like one but she can't even understand how you really are even you've been with her for 4 years long and you've told her about your dislike about her, and she understood it but she repeat it for about 3 times?! HELL, was i wrong choosing bestfriend? people i feel like they wasn't my bestfriend because i just know them for a short period of time understands what i mean when i tell them my dislikes about them, wait i am not speaking about 'I want everyone to change for me' but i am talking about a FRIENDSHIP and how i and my bestfriend take part in! this person really realized me that BESTFRIEND WASN'T BASED ON HOW LONG YOU KNOW SOMEONE BUT HOW COULD YOU UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER. and pleae to everyone, STOP BEING STUBBORN, you should try to listen to people's opinion than listening to your own opinion, PEOPLE SEE YOU, GOD GIVE YOU RELATIVES TO HELP YOU TO BE A BETTER PERSON! when people hates you please watch yourself, 'have i done sth wrong?' not ' she hates me i hate her back HAHA' i call this kind of person STUPID! ah i'm done with these things, i really wish i am someone without any heart or a fragile heart who won't feel any pain when someone try to break it and won't care how people around me say bad words or any other mean things in front of me! well, before you dismiss me, listen:

1. I won't take any shixz from people who doesn't meant much in my life. i mean i won't listen to bad opinions about me from people who doesn't know me well or who haven't known me for such a long time! but when my besties or family speak bad about me i feel like i just wanna disappear!
2. I won't get hurt when i know that person didn't mean it, like when we're joking together or that person have ever told me that ' when i mock you or speak bad things about you im joking i appreciate this kind of people!
3. When i am deeply in love with someone i won't keep those words in my heart cause my sensitivity doesn't work to someone i deeply love (this thing happens to me after sth i've been trough, and probably i am still trough it) cause well i knew him before and when he speak something bad about me there are many meanings behind it and boyfriend talks and bestfriend talks well the way they say it to me should be different, and certainly are! 

so people or strangers when you say anything about me SORRY i won't think about it and people whom my heart's being sensitive to, YOU GUYS MEAN A LOT TO ME :) 

if you have PEACE within yourself nobody can touch you no matter WHAT happens! mom said this to me, but well, i can't even fight myself now, but i have to try, but well people can't change directly :)

when brain and heart fights......

have you ever feel this thing? have your heart ever fight with your brain? which one will you choose to be the winner? well, this feeling was with me since, hmm kinda 3 or 4 months ago, i've been sth trough, well sth which is played by heart, and sth i can't refuse i have to been trough. i got a problem or in other words, sth is happening which i have to see with my eyes, think it with my brain and feel it with my heart. sth called LOVE, but wait what i'm feeling now is sth about love but well the main problem wasn't i am in love but i am broken, actually my heart is the one who's broken, i'm still me! i got so many things to see to hear and that's all about HIM, well don't judge that easy who i mean, some of you may know but some of you WON'T know! there's too many facts that shows that all both of us been trough is OVER, my brain says it too, it says that there's no chance for me to make everything clear, there's no chance for me to begin this love, there's no chance foe me to be his again, but here's the problem, my heart comes, with the feeling of being hurt and says ' DONT WORRY DEAR, YOU'LL BE BACK TOGETHER, BUT THIS AIN'T THE RIGHT TIME, BE PATIENT ' it always says it, everytime sth new happens. i just wanna say to my heart ' hey stupid heart, don't you realize that you've been hurt, but why do you have to depend on this thing to much ' hhhh, im exhausted. i've tried to listen to my brain but my heart always win, and sometimes my brain listen to my heart, then how hard i try to move on, i'll always forget that i have to move on! though people say that heart will always be right,but if you know the real story youll say my heart's wrong! too stupid but thats me, i can't even control myself, i can't even avoid my heart of being hurt.

what a beautiful day :)

hell-O peppo, how's life treating? fine? huuuuh? if u ask how's mine? i'll directly answer fine :) hari ini hari terakhir UP loooooh :):) eh sumpah bgt loh td nyesek bgt pas up voli, masa pas latihan gue bisa eh pas UP malah cman 1 yg masuk :(:(:( shixzzzzz hate it! hmm, terus abis UP gue ke rumah oji loooh, sama nadine cindy sharon evan kenny zef jm. awalnya tuh ya kita nungguin si oji lamaaaaaaa bgt dia pacaran dulu gitu deh sm si sasha hehe sbel deh gua ngguin org pacaran *kayak lo gaperna pcran aja iv* ahahhaha terus tuh kita naek angkot ke rumah dia, abis itu beli dvd, stlah itu kita naek becak, yeaaaaah BECAAAAK \:)/ gue dmen bngt deh naek becak :):) kita kayak pawai gitudeh 5 becak, hehe gue sm cindy 1 becak, kita pling terakhir, biasa gitu ya org penting butuh di kawal :p nah stelah itu pertama kita nntn paranormal activity 2, itu film hmmmm lumayanlahya, tp ga gitu nyeremin hehe terus ke2 kita nntn black swan, eh si zef ama kenny marah" katanya film kagak jelas, but well sorry, u need to have a great brain 2 understand that movie :p emg sih agak aneeeeh dan some scenes rn't good to be watched by us hehehe thats yaaaaackieee! nah abis itu si zef nntn lg apa gitu kalo gasalah 30 days to nights ato apa hehe tp gue ndine cindy shrn jm ke kmarnya oji, tntu sm ojinya ngbrol" gitu hehe trus si oji malah otp, si sharon ama jm berduaan gitu deh maen ayunan ecieeeee :p eh katanya curhat"an, smpe smua org bngung dah sbnernya pacarnya si shrn tuh si jm ato si ...... -__________- eh pas nyokapnya oji si tante gahuuuuul pulang, kita semua balik ke ruang tamu, and ternyata ada inccident gitu deh, hpnya si shrn di umpetin sama............ kankan pada nuduh gue , ophya jd d umpetinnya itu di tasnya JM, hehe emang sih pada rese abis nuduh" gue, trus saling tuduh"an deh, kcuali 1 org yg cman bsa bela diri, tuh si zef, eh kita smua kan mikir dia dong, tp dia ttp gamo ngaku, terus gue suruh siapapun yg ngerasa nyembunyiin dan tau siapa ngaku, eh si kenny ngaku deh dia blg dia yg ngusulin tp zef yg umpetin, nah kan anehnya udh ada saksi gitu, tuh manusia bebal msh gamo ngaku oh please-_- udh d desek" ampe dia sumpah" kagak mo ngaku, ampe kita blg putus ama gaby loh, eh dia malah blg putusin aja, HEY MAAAAAAN LO KIRA LO CKEP BNYK YG MAU?! najis abis ada cowok kayak lo x_x tapi akhrnya skian lamaaaaaa kita mendesak dia ngaku juga, terus stelah itu nih ya, kita berdebat lg, kenapa?! karena bantuin zef mau pulang dia gapunya ongkos, eh tp sm aja deh udh kita pusing" ampe si tante gahoool juga pusing, si zef ttp aja bebal-_______- udahlah manusia macem lo mati aja weeeeey! dan sampe akhirnya kita pulang deeeeeh :) pelajaran yg gue dpet hr ini : jangan berbohong nnti org" d sekitar lo gbkal percaya sm lo lg!

keep relationships working

1. Love each other
2. Don't lie
3. Keep communication open
4. Stay sweet
5. When you get hurt just forgive and forget
6. Never talk about break-ups
7. Never say it's okay even when it's not
8. Forget about "pride" 9. If you say sorry mean it
10. Don't compare your past with your present
11. Don't talk about your stupid ex's
12. Give and take process
13. Beware of his/her feelings
14. When you had a fight, don't let the day pass
15. Don't be the perfect one, be the right one