why is it so hard to let go?

why is it so hard to forget?

you've hurted me, once, twice, even more.

but then always, there's something in my heart saying we're still for each other.

but that stupid feeling really hurts me.

cause it's all wrong! now i have to build my heart from the start,

and yeah am not going to give any chances for anyone to break it,

like i've let you to.

and now the time you've found your new one,

don't you know it really kills me?!

where's all the promises you've said?

is it that easy for you to break it?

yeah i should laugh as loud as i can.

all those things you've said about me, all those thoughts.

i've proven you're wrong.

see? in the end i'm the one who stand's still. and i'm the one who's going to love you,

i really hope not forever, but till the time i write this, im still deeply in love:")

don't regret your relationship w your ex, you've choosen him/her, tho at the end you feel she/he's not the one you need for life, they actually gave sth for you to learn and make yourself a better person :)

cause a relationship isn't a game, think mature, if your couple was so in love with you but then you're not serious with it, you're breaking someone's heart. i mean being in a relationship wasn't an entertainment, but it's a way which 2 people come together as one filling each others flaws and backing each other up when they're having a problem :) not all pretty girl you meet everyday can fill you and not all handsome boy you're crazy with can always be there for you, know them well, know their heart then you may know whether they're the best/not ;;) old phrase : 'don't judge a book by it's cover' ;)

love without reason is the everlasting one, somehow i was agree :) if you love someone with one reason even millions how if those fact fade away, ex: i love him because he's kind so then when he's being a jerk then you stop loving him? it wasn't 'love' it's much like 'like' cause when you love someone you'll love anything in him even their flaws, i mean you can try to change him/her but truthfully that wasn't easy to remove our flaws that's why even if they can't change you have to accept them and fill their flaws with your excellence :) you need to know your couple well and understand each other :)

and then remember, if you really love someone don't give up on him/her, HOLD ON! you deserve him/her and she/he also deserves you as well :) and even if they break you, love will heal itself and continue its journey to get that special person whether by waiting or fight for it, all you need is faith and beliefs :)

Promise me that you'll stand by me forever. But if God forbid fate should step in and force us into a goodbye.
Someday, you'll have your own children, when they point to our pictures, please tell them my name, tell them how I hope they're ours, tell them that we used to be the happiest couple& build our dreams together.

a little story of my life..

heeey i'm back :) udah lama ya gak nulis blog, sebenernya rencananya udah lama pengen cerita", malah tadinya mau nunda sampe hari rabu malem tapi hari ini gabisa tidur ya jadinya nulis aja deh :) mulai dari masalah sekolah yaa. minggu lalu eh 2 minggu lalu, pas hari pertama UN pulangnya gue daftar online di 70, terus pas hari apa ya? jumatnya setelah selesai UN gue verifikasi berkas. nah sabtu minggu depannya kan pengumuman, gue udah bener" takut, apa gue lolos verifikasi apa engga. eh tau"nya lulus :) nah terus selasa-rabunya gue tes disana ya well disana sekolahnya such good as GS, belnya mirip, gedungnya juga mirip malah sbnernya lebih besar hehe tp toiletnya hmmmmmm that's one my dislikes, and also bangku dan meja yg masih pake kayu, tapi semua full AC. nah hari pertama tesnya itu MAT & IPS :) hr kedua IPA&BI you guys will totally shocked kalau liat soalnya, hmm standarnya di atas UN jauh dan mirip" sama soal penabur bisa dibilang potensinya sama. nah well selama gue ujian gue tinggal di rumah opung hehe rumah gue kalau seandainya jadi masuk situ! (AMIIIIN!) and ada cerita yg sedih... opung boru gue dari bokap msuk RS lagi...... and kali ini karena dia kanker rahim :(:( tapi pas hari kamis udah di operasi :) and now everything's fine. pas hari jumatnya tgl 13/05 gue jagain dia di RS, gue nginep disana, tadinya rencananya kan hr sbtu gue mau liat pengumuman di 70 langsung . pas besok paginya gue udah kesana tuh naik taksi tapi sialnya kagak di pasang malah disuru liat di web. nahyaaa gue udah sangat" ketakutan harap-harap cemas! gue langsung telfon nyokap dan suru dia liat hehe dia pake lama lagi. tp dan ternyata gue LOLOS! urutan 51 dr 352 hehe :) PUJI TUHAN bgt! terus kan daya tampung maks buat anak luar 16 org nah yg lolos seleksi 16, emang nih Jakarta pelit ngsh daya tampung-_- tapi gue berdoa bgt biar gue bsa ngerjain TOEFL prediction gue hari rabu hehe :) ohya mau tau nilai guekah? BI 85 MAT 90 IPA 77,5 IPS 78 not that good but well if tried my best lah ;) soal gue diterima / enggaknya nanti itu semua rencana Tuhan, nyokap gue selalu mengajarkan kita untuk berserah berserah dan berserah. karena rencana Tuhan itu jauh lebih baik dari rancana manusia :)

dan hal k2 yg pengen gue ceritain itu ttg seseorang yg sangat teramat salah gue nilai! yeah girl i should know from the start that you're not that type of bestfriend i need. hmmm mungkin gue ini orangnya terlalu sensitif atau apa tapi gimana ya gue udah capek pendem, capek sakit hati jadi mending gue gausah temenan lagi sama dia, itu yang gue putusin, soal gue sekamar sm dia di bali ya apa boleh buat, biarkanlaaah..........

the last but not least, something made me really happy, well someone realized me something, that someone showed me that ....... *maksutnya titik" itu sesuatunya itu* and that's why i'm still holding on ummm even if i was upset because of........... but i choose to over think about the positive side not the negative one. and well i believe if we're meant to be sooner or later God will make the way............ and this time i really miss that someone, i really wish he could be here i miss his voice his arms his 'kebawelan' and this is funny but most of them i miss OUR FIGHTS :') the point is I MISS EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT SOMEONE! ISLYSM <3:D

closer to you - josef hedinger

its pouring down like rain
and no denyin it, baby
and now it's started to flame
Oh boy you got me going insane in a good way
can't get you off of my brain
ain't that a shame

if there is just one thing that i gotta do
is wrap my arms around you
and hold you close and never let you go

can I get closer?
can I get closer?
can I get closer?
closer to you

now can i wipe away your tears?
wipe away your fears?
be the woman that you need me to be
can i get closer?
closer to you

now lately i've been thinking bout him
and i just dont understand
how God can make a man so handsome?
so perfect for one woman

coz when i wake in the morning
and i think about your face
no one in this world could ever take your place
its u me, we are meant to be, baby oh

and now im thinkin to myself whats goin on?
coz its too good to be true
but then i remember there's a God up there sayin'
girl, this one's for you

nb: and now i'm feelin like it's so hard for me to get close to you like we used to :(

when brain and heart fights......

have you ever feel this thing? have your heart ever fight with your brain? which one will you choose to be the winner? well, this feeling was with me since, hmm kinda 3 or 4 months ago, i've been sth trough, well sth which is played by heart, and sth i can't refuse i have to been trough. i got a problem or in other words, sth is happening which i have to see with my eyes, think it with my brain and feel it with my heart. sth called LOVE, but wait what i'm feeling now is sth about love but well the main problem wasn't i am in love but i am broken, actually my heart is the one who's broken, i'm still me! i got so many things to see to hear and that's all about HIM, well don't judge that easy who i mean, some of you may know but some of you WON'T know! there's too many facts that shows that all both of us been trough is OVER, my brain says it too, it says that there's no chance for me to make everything clear, there's no chance for me to begin this love, there's no chance foe me to be his again, but here's the problem, my heart comes, with the feeling of being hurt and says ' DONT WORRY DEAR, YOU'LL BE BACK TOGETHER, BUT THIS AIN'T THE RIGHT TIME, BE PATIENT ' it always says it, everytime sth new happens. i just wanna say to my heart ' hey stupid heart, don't you realize that you've been hurt, but why do you have to depend on this thing to much ' hhhh, im exhausted. i've tried to listen to my brain but my heart always win, and sometimes my brain listen to my heart, then how hard i try to move on, i'll always forget that i have to move on! though people say that heart will always be right,but if you know the real story youll say my heart's wrong! too stupid but thats me, i can't even control myself, i can't even avoid my heart of being hurt.

keep relationships working

1. Love each other
2. Don't lie
3. Keep communication open
4. Stay sweet
5. When you get hurt just forgive and forget
6. Never talk about break-ups
7. Never say it's okay even when it's not
8. Forget about "pride" 9. If you say sorry mean it
10. Don't compare your past with your present
11. Don't talk about your stupid ex's
12. Give and take process
13. Beware of his/her feelings
14. When you had a fight, don't let the day pass
15. Don't be the perfect one, be the right one

i hope this one is you....

Amore ha bisogno di fede!

after 2 posts about life dilemas then i'll write another love post! hmm, love is the most interesting topic for teens, isn't it? does anyone know what does the title of this post means? after reading my post well you'll know :)

i believe that all of you have ever felt the wonderful side of being in love and also the worse side of it! but is that love something that will last forever or it's just that simple junior-high-love or high-school-love that most people say wouldn't last forever? actually, i believe in those statement 50% and disbelieve 50%. sometimes it doesn't make sense if there's a couple that will last from junior-high till they marry! yeah well maybe the scale is about 1:1000. but then there's three type of the junior-high couple till marry. first, they are in  relationship from junior-high/high-school, till marry without any break up! second, they were a junior-high couple but they break up and they met when they're big and have a marriage, third they were a junior-high couple they break-up but then they're still friends and in love but doesn't stand in a relationship! which one do you prefer?

actually, we have to learn the way Jesus loves us :) he never cares about or badness or goodness, the only point is he will love us always and forever! could human love their fellow as good has loved them? if we can't then how can we love our almighty God? 

then when we talk about love actually what most matter is TIME , people says "i will love you FOREVER" and others say "i will wait for you FOREVER" well, forever really exists but DOES FOREVER EXIST IN LOVE? the first thing you should remember is never make a promise if you're not sure whether you can do it or not! why? cause if one of you broke those promise it will really hurt the one you've promised to! and then you'll be also hurt cause then he may broke his too! but then there's only one way one act one word to make FOREVER really exist in a relationship! all you need is FAITH . if you have a faith in loving someone you will never really stop loving that person, and then if he/she is gone, with putting faith on their return it might become real! i am a dreamer and i am never afraid in having too high expectation, why? cause i believe in it with faith! people say 'don't have to high expectation cause when it doesn't become real you'll get down!' it's not true! cause the time you'll get down that's the time devil will tempt you, just run to God ;) and then if you really love someone faithfully, he/she won't be able to turn back from you, well they may move on but then by watching your faithful and sincerity love they'll be back and won't ever ever let go of you ;) so the point is LOVE NEEDS FAITH!

when a simple ' HELLO ' grows ......

everything begins with a simple ........

we say 'HELLO'

then we became .......

friends, talking about ourselves, our likes, dislikes, sharing stories ;) 

then we knew each other better.

suddenly, we feel lyk we suite each other and ........

we lay sth called LOVE on each other ;) 

the sweetest feeling ever :)

and LOVE grows with a simple........

we hug and kiss each other, to be together is our pleasure ;)

then we begin to......

promise each other to be together FOREVER :)

and.....

we hope we'll end lyk this :)