when brain and heart fights......

have you ever feel this thing? have your heart ever fight with your brain? which one will you choose to be the winner? well, this feeling was with me since, hmm kinda 3 or 4 months ago, i've been sth trough, well sth which is played by heart, and sth i can't refuse i have to been trough. i got a problem or in other words, sth is happening which i have to see with my eyes, think it with my brain and feel it with my heart. sth called LOVE, but wait what i'm feeling now is sth about love but well the main problem wasn't i am in love but i am broken, actually my heart is the one who's broken, i'm still me! i got so many things to see to hear and that's all about HIM, well don't judge that easy who i mean, some of you may know but some of you WON'T know! there's too many facts that shows that all both of us been trough is OVER, my brain says it too, it says that there's no chance for me to make everything clear, there's no chance for me to begin this love, there's no chance foe me to be his again, but here's the problem, my heart comes, with the feeling of being hurt and says ' DONT WORRY DEAR, YOU'LL BE BACK TOGETHER, BUT THIS AIN'T THE RIGHT TIME, BE PATIENT ' it always says it, everytime sth new happens. i just wanna say to my heart ' hey stupid heart, don't you realize that you've been hurt, but why do you have to depend on this thing to much ' hhhh, im exhausted. i've tried to listen to my brain but my heart always win, and sometimes my brain listen to my heart, then how hard i try to move on, i'll always forget that i have to move on! though people say that heart will always be right,but if you know the real story youll say my heart's wrong! too stupid but thats me, i can't even control myself, i can't even avoid my heart of being hurt.

what a beautiful day :)

hell-O peppo, how's life treating? fine? huuuuh? if u ask how's mine? i'll directly answer fine :) hari ini hari terakhir UP loooooh :):) eh sumpah bgt loh td nyesek bgt pas up voli, masa pas latihan gue bisa eh pas UP malah cman 1 yg masuk :(:(:( shixzzzzz hate it! hmm, terus abis UP gue ke rumah oji loooh, sama nadine cindy sharon evan kenny zef jm. awalnya tuh ya kita nungguin si oji lamaaaaaaa bgt dia pacaran dulu gitu deh sm si sasha hehe sbel deh gua ngguin org pacaran *kayak lo gaperna pcran aja iv* ahahhaha terus tuh kita naek angkot ke rumah dia, abis itu beli dvd, stlah itu kita naek becak, yeaaaaah BECAAAAK \:)/ gue dmen bngt deh naek becak :):) kita kayak pawai gitudeh 5 becak, hehe gue sm cindy 1 becak, kita pling terakhir, biasa gitu ya org penting butuh di kawal :p nah stelah itu pertama kita nntn paranormal activity 2, itu film hmmmm lumayanlahya, tp ga gitu nyeremin hehe terus ke2 kita nntn black swan, eh si zef ama kenny marah" katanya film kagak jelas, but well sorry, u need to have a great brain 2 understand that movie :p emg sih agak aneeeeh dan some scenes rn't good to be watched by us hehehe thats yaaaaackieee! nah abis itu si zef nntn lg apa gitu kalo gasalah 30 days to nights ato apa hehe tp gue ndine cindy shrn jm ke kmarnya oji, tntu sm ojinya ngbrol" gitu hehe trus si oji malah otp, si sharon ama jm berduaan gitu deh maen ayunan ecieeeee :p eh katanya curhat"an, smpe smua org bngung dah sbnernya pacarnya si shrn tuh si jm ato si ...... -__________- eh pas nyokapnya oji si tante gahuuuuul pulang, kita semua balik ke ruang tamu, and ternyata ada inccident gitu deh, hpnya si shrn di umpetin sama............ kankan pada nuduh gue , ophya jd d umpetinnya itu di tasnya JM, hehe emang sih pada rese abis nuduh" gue, trus saling tuduh"an deh, kcuali 1 org yg cman bsa bela diri, tuh si zef, eh kita smua kan mikir dia dong, tp dia ttp gamo ngaku, terus gue suruh siapapun yg ngerasa nyembunyiin dan tau siapa ngaku, eh si kenny ngaku deh dia blg dia yg ngusulin tp zef yg umpetin, nah kan anehnya udh ada saksi gitu, tuh manusia bebal msh gamo ngaku oh please-_- udh d desek" ampe dia sumpah" kagak mo ngaku, ampe kita blg putus ama gaby loh, eh dia malah blg putusin aja, HEY MAAAAAAN LO KIRA LO CKEP BNYK YG MAU?! najis abis ada cowok kayak lo x_x tapi akhrnya skian lamaaaaaa kita mendesak dia ngaku juga, terus stelah itu nih ya, kita berdebat lg, kenapa?! karena bantuin zef mau pulang dia gapunya ongkos, eh tp sm aja deh udh kita pusing" ampe si tante gahoool juga pusing, si zef ttp aja bebal-_______- udahlah manusia macem lo mati aja weeeeey! dan sampe akhirnya kita pulang deeeeeh :) pelajaran yg gue dpet hr ini : jangan berbohong nnti org" d sekitar lo gbkal percaya sm lo lg!

keep relationships working

1. Love each other
2. Don't lie
3. Keep communication open
4. Stay sweet
5. When you get hurt just forgive and forget
6. Never talk about break-ups
7. Never say it's okay even when it's not
8. Forget about "pride" 9. If you say sorry mean it
10. Don't compare your past with your present
11. Don't talk about your stupid ex's
12. Give and take process
13. Beware of his/her feelings
14. When you had a fight, don't let the day pass
15. Don't be the perfect one, be the right one

i hope this one is you....

random

heeeey :) waaaah hari ini seru sekali kawan" :):) pagi" gue ujian praktek haha oke ga selesai HTMLnya yah agak menyesal tp tdak perlu d bahas, setelah itu kan lg lthn apres, eh si dea cerita sumthing that makes me really sad :(:( gue lngsng nggis bombay entah kenapa-_- begoknya gua haha 2 jam d abisin dengan tangisan that's stupidhhhhh! wkwk hemm trus kan pulang sekolah gue ke grejanya mia, nah itu tuh msh dngan beban d hati gue *cieelaaah* hm, tapi disana geeeeez EVERYTHING CHANGE! dr awal tuh d ajak nyembah Tuhan well, disitu peweeee bgt lohhh haha dia itu seakan" mau ngjak remaja udah gausah ke diskotik, d greja tuh lebih seruloh, dan itu bener bgt! lo bsa all out muji Tuhan, mau smpe loncat" gpp tp inget itu untuk Tuhan hanya untuk memuliakan nama Tuhan hehe hmm ohya pas kan nania nyanyi kan, si garren tuh ngmng ' kalo menurut lo pada lagu ini nyentuh boleh ko berdiri' eh kan dia nyanyi 'because of who you are' and well that's my favorite songggg :):):) try to listen! eh tau ga gue mia echa sama elisha sama temennya echa berdiri plg pertama loh, dan gue bener" ga merasa malu karna disini gue cuman mau nyembah Tuhan! hehe masa buat Tuhan malu?!

nah abis itu kan khotbah, well om gilbert do the khotbah reallly goooood that touch hmmm dia tuh khotbah awalnya ttg dosa" kita d belakang, hmm mnurut gue itu sangat bergunaa bagi gue karna hidup gue yang dulu tuh bener" dikuasain sama setan, gue bandel bgt and i did many things that ppl won't guess haha tp gue mau bangkit setan boleh nguasain hidup gua dulu tapi kedepannya? GAAKAN! gue juga tadi kayak bener" melepas semua beban hidup, pergumulan gue , karna asal lo tau meskipun lo blg ke org" 'lo tuh ga ngerti apa yg gue rasain skrg' Tuhan selalu ngerti jd mending lo cerita sama dia, cuman dia yg mengerti lo luar dalem, bahkan lebih dr bonyok lo! :):) Tuhan Yesus tuh yg paling sayang sama lo, lebih dari siapapun! dan disaat lo sedih, ga guna deh tuh nanggis, mending lo apus terus tersenyum dan berkata, Tuhan Yesus akan terus peduli sama gue :) ohya jangan lupa loh, di balik orang sukses pasti ada masalah, ada orang yg nyakitin karena masalah' itu akan membuat iman kita lebiiiiih gede lagi! jd kalo ada masalah ato ada yg nyakitin hati lo, belajar dan lihat sisi baiknya :)

ohya kan kita udah mau UN US nihh hehe kita tuh harus melakukan dua hal belajar dan berdoa, mana nih yg lebih penting well the answer is belajar seperti doa tak ada kuasanya dan berdoa seperti belajar gada gunanya :):) Tuhan pasti bantu lo ko, gada yg mustahil p lo juga hrus berusaha, coba deh kalo belajar doa dulu sm Tuhan, kalo mau ujian juga sblom ngerjain ato msuk ruangan sempetin doa, masa sih buat Tuhan gada waktu?! haha ohya terus mending yg kepahitan" dl hati lo, pergumulan keluarin dulu, biar lo juga lega, biar Tuhan Roh Kudus bsa bener" mengisi hati lo! jangan ada dendam :):) ohya kelupaan, gue pengen bgt gue bsa nyembah Tuhan semaximal ini bukan cuman saat gue d greja td, tp dalam setiap hal yg gue lakuin, smua hal hanya untuk kemuliaan Tuhan! :)

You are the Way, the Truth and the Light

We live by faith and not by sight for You, 

We're living all for You......

adolescents and parents rules

hell-o peeppoooo :) well i am taking this title, cause i think mostly teenagers have much problems w their parents rules, well im one of them! well actually the point is sometimes parents treat us same as their parents treat them when tey were a teen but HELL-O era's changing mom dad! but sometimes they still won't understand :( my parents are alike, they always says ' when i was a child....... ' oh geez i'm exhausted.
and well, actually the one thing teenagers need is FREEDOM! we hate being restraint, we just want that our parents never over protect us lyk calling us every hour asking where are you, when will you come home? or other sick things! but sometimees i ignore their call and said ' sorry mom, i didn't hold my phone, and i silent it' HAHA and she won't say anything again. ah udahlah cpek ngmng inggris nti ke indo yeeeeaaaaah :p hmm, terus yang paling gue benci itu soal jalan, pasti di tanya hmm kamu pergi sama siapa nanti pulang jam berapa? jangan malem" ya, nonton apa blablabla YaTuhan gue udaaaah gede!!!!! i can take care of myself lah ya, ga ampe diculik juga haha siapa coba yg mau culik! dan kedua gue benci bgt di larang" soal pake baju! nyokap gue itu baweeeeeeel banget astaga heeeeek this is my body, and i do have a big self confidence! ya pasti kan apa yang menurut lo bagus ya itulah yg lo pake, nah nyokap gue itu terlalu melarang" gue memakai baju yg well, menurut dia ga bagus! udahlah hushushush i hate it! yah itulah hal" yang gue benci dr ortu gue, hmm walaupun skrg dia udh ga gitu perduli soal pergi'an gue keluyuran dan itu semua gara" bokap gue haha dia memng lebih mengerti gue :):) tapi tetep aja gue kadang suka iri sama orang" yang ga perna di kekang, ga d kasih jam malem, ga di atur" ya walaupun gue tau emang ortu gue namanya lebih perhatian sama gue dan gamau gue kenapa" tpkan gue gabakalan setiap hari juga pulang malem! and oh yaaaaa saat gue SMA nanti, gue kan tinggal ama tante gue tuh dan yeaaaah gue sudah bener' bisa membayangkan gimana kehidupan gue nanti yg pasti dikekang lebih mateng dr pada sama ortu gue, hhhh siap" aja deh gue tahan uji! dimana: orang tuh masa" SMA d pake have fun eh gue?! penyiksaaaaan!!!!!! okelah segini aja curahan hati gue kali ini well byeee :)

dear someone ............

I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out. And tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart. And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you to come back. But those words may forever stay in myheart-locked inside. Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too... but I'll never know.