why is it so hard to let go?

why is it so hard to forget?

you've hurted me, once, twice, even more.

but then always, there's something in my heart saying we're still for each other.

but that stupid feeling really hurts me.

cause it's all wrong! now i have to build my heart from the start,

and yeah am not going to give any chances for anyone to break it,

like i've let you to.

and now the time you've found your new one,

don't you know it really kills me?!

where's all the promises you've said?

is it that easy for you to break it?

yeah i should laugh as loud as i can.

all those things you've said about me, all those thoughts.

i've proven you're wrong.

see? in the end i'm the one who stand's still. and i'm the one who's going to love you,

i really hope not forever, but till the time i write this, im still deeply in love:")

cerita lain.......

ceyamat mayam cemuaaaaaaa<3 udah lama ya enggak nulis blog:( gue lagi pengen cerita aja nih terlalu banyak penat auch</3 ini udah hari minggu ajaya, tanggalnya bagus lagi 091011:-) dipastikan hari ini banyak yang jadian. selamat yaaaaa:-D aduh gatau harusn mulai cerita yang mana tapi semua cerita gue itu sedih:-( ya pertama sekolah gue hmm nilai sih ya bsa dibilang memuaskan, MEMUASKAN loh belom baik. kenapa dibilang memuaskan karena nilai gue gak cukup untuk mendapatkan setidaknya rangking 5 besar dikelas, kenapa? nihya seandainya lo udah dpet 90, yg notabene menurut semua orang nilai lo itu udah bagus, tapi anak kelas lo banyak banget yg dapet 100, yah 90 udah gak akan di anggep bagus lagi bukan?(jangan berpikiran sombong ya tapi angka tadi hanya contoh kokss;-)) hmm dan ya cita" gue sedari dulu adalah...........jadi dokter dan masuk FKUI, pake jaket kuning dan tiap hari nyetir lewatin tol panjang nyampe salemba semester pertama diujinyalinya di RSCM. huh mau bgt. tapi kalian tahu tidak quota bangu yg tersedia hanya 170 ya HANYA. sedangkan anak di kelas gue aja, cuman di kelas loh 7 orang yg mau masuk FKUI. gimana diluar sana, gue gaktau deh hhhh ya doakan ya supaya gue bisa:-) daaaaaan kalian tau apa 2 minggu yg lalu gue bru aja abis ujian awal semester. dan tadaaaaaa senin(besok) udah uts hahuhah apa"an ya sekolah</3 dan lebih gilanya lagi yayaya minggu depan ujian akhir semester. TUHAN YESUS BERKATILAH IVANNA. amen! ya apalagi ya gue mau cerita? hehehe gak ada kaliya, ohya cuman mau blg sesuatu buat seseorang diluar sana:

dear new girlfriend,

treat him well. he always act tough, even if he's not. 

don't let go of his kisses&hugs first, it puts a huge smile on his face. 

always hold his hand if he reaches for it, it will make him feel he owns you. 

And realize that you're having the greatest guy when you're dating him cause

he's one of the best thing, i've ever had. 
and please, dont ever hurt him cause he really dont deserve to be hurt.

sincerely,

his ex girlfriend</3

since i found you

i think of you in everything that i do
to be with you what ever it takes i'll do
cause you my love, you all my heart desires
you've lighten up my life forever i'm alive

since i found you my world seems so brand new
you've show me the love i never knew
your presence is what my whole life through
since i found you my life begin so new
now who needs a dream when there is you
for all of my dreams came true
since i found you

your love shines bright
through all the corners of my heart
maybe you are my dearest heart
i give you all i have my heart, my soul, my life
my destiny is you
forever true... i'm so in love with you

since i found you my world seems so brand new
you've show me the love i never knew
your presence is what my whole life through
since i found you my life begin so new
now who needs a dream when there is you
for all of my dreams came true
since i found you

my heart forever true...
in love with you.. 

another day... another story... noother feeling...

today is august the 17th hahahhaha HAPPY BIRTHDAY INDONESIA :D begitu menyedihkannya dihari ulang tahun kowos" sekola gue malah tubir hahhaha mau jadi penerus bangsa tapi kayak gitu astaga mending gausah sekoah deh lo kalo cuman mau ribut".. sebenernya ga masuk akal loh mereka bangga bisa kayak gitu! dikira keren apa?! kalo cewek yang bener sih gabakal ngelirik ya kecuali emang dasarnya ceweknya juga bandel.. paling didukung-_-sayang woy idup lo mau mati cuman karena hal bego kayak gitu?! hahaha maaf ya esmosi tp emg bodoh sih cowok" macem beraninya kroyokan! gak gentle hahahha hhh dan cerita yg lain.... bsok saya sudah berpisah kelas dengan X4 :( mulai besok udah gak ada sekolah main", bsa ganaek kali :( udah oktober udah ulangan semester 1 astaga menyedihkan.... ah demi cita"! ohiya ada cerita lg dr si labil Ivanna hehhe gue udh coba move on.. tp kenapa ya malah d paksa gni bawaannya nangis mulu?! kemaren gue crta ke Kania, eh dia malah blg kalo gue salah katnya 'lo mesti ngomong, sampe kapan lo cuman mau nunggu dia nyapa duluan, gabakal dia nyapa duluan van' agak nancep tp dia bener... cuman bukannya gue mementingkan gengsi apa gimana cuman ya emang susah gue a berani.. ya toh kan dia bentar lg jga tinggal nunggu udah ada yang baru.. gue udh 2kali mimpiin dia sm org lain astagaaa sakit bgt ya... yaa ud takdirnya.. gaboleh menyesali kesalahan" yg udah gue perbuat kecuali satu hal hahhahaa yah gue cuman bilangin ke semuanya ya... jadi cewek jangan bego... choose your heart wisely cause your heart could be so stupid, but your brain it will always protect your heart from making stupid decissions...itu ajasih dari pada nanti nyeselnya belakangan.. hahaha masa lalu mana bsa di ubah mana bsa di undo... lupa tuh ga segampang membalikkan telapak tangan, ngapus perasaan apalagi hahaha dan yg lain lagi hargailah apa yg lo punya saat ini, saat itu/ orang itu pergi.. bisa lo balikinnya? gak kan, bsa pun psti susah kalo lo udh sia"in.. mana ada org yg mau balik kalo udh di sia"in... jd hargai dan cintailah.... apalagi kalo udh sm org yg bener kecuali ga bener buang ajamah! cowok/cewek banyak kok di dunia, jangan mau ama yg gabener, mau sesayang apa tp kalo lo perthanain lo yg bego! hahahaha baca tweet"nya @jakartaKeras deh yaoloh nancep" semuaaa! hahahaa udah ah itu ajaa mau tidur lagi hahha gamo galau ohya doakan gue di sekolah ya dan doakan supaya gue lebih tegar :)

another grace ;) praise Lord

haaaaaaaalllllllllloooooooooooooo semuanya :) hehehehhe saya sedang sendiri di rumah semuanya kegereja :( eh tapi gue udah gereja pagi" hehehehe terus pulang tidur lagi dan sekarang saya sedang mengerjakan PR bahasa jermannya si Frau Niken cuman nyambi lah nulis blog nyeheheheeee ehiyaaa life's changing a lil bit wonderful loooh.. mulai hari ini gue udah ikut club tennis lagi.. since 2 years vakum hehehe masih sangat berniat dan mesti kurus ini selama SMA!!!! ehiya kemaren hari sabtu bangun pagi" gue udah di kagetkan dengan kabar yang begitu membahagiakan pertama dari Ali dia ping berkali" nah gue kebangun dengan mata yg masih sayu gue rada kesel dong orang lagi enak" tidur di bangunin... pas baca chatnya dia eh tau" dia ngmngin CIBI tp msh samar" pas baca lg dia blg 'ivannaaaaa Lo ketrima cibi :D' dan gue awalnya gak percaya... setelah itu ada bbm dr kania isinya 'ivanna selamat ya ketrima CIBI :*' masih agak gak percaya terus buka twitter eh udah ada mention dari si gila patrissss menyelamatkan lg.. hm yah masih takut mereka keliru tapi yg satu ini dapet bbm dr luthfi yg bukan temen sekelas gue dia blg 'selamat ya ketrima cibi van' gue spontan nnaya tau dr mana dia blg td di bacain woaaaaah gila lngsng seneng bgt gada ampun... I'LL END MY SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL YEARS IN 2 YEARS :D:D wohoooo Tuhan itu baik sekali... padahal gue udh pnya feeling ga ketrma dan indahnya gue gak tau hr apa pengumuman jd gue gak se deg"an yg parah" bgt heehehe yeah but this is just another beginning masuk CIBI itu gak gampang apalagi kalo udah di CIBI belajar harus ekstra lg hhh i know i may through it with my God and those support from people around me.... yeah doakan yaaa :) FKUI 2013 would be on me ;) yeah mungkin dengan ini juga i don't have any time for that stupid thing called romance.... yeah and anyway i know tme heals... even if i need some more seconds, minutes, hours, days, months or even years ;) Good has his own plan for me :) sekian, terimakasih :D

a little story of mine....

hallooo semua... sangkin bingungnya mau ngapain akhirnya gue memutuskan untuk menulis blog dan bercerita tentang berbagai hal :) and yeh i'm officially an utas in hujut hulup nangulub-_- school life isn't easy anymore, i didnt mean the subjects... pelajaran sih as far gak ada yg bkin stress" bgt... but those creature astaga ga bisa ngomong lagi.. berbahagialah kawan" yang mempunya sekolah dengan senioritas yang bisa di bilang tidak ada.... sangat teramat susah sekali meyakinkan diri sendiri bahwa satu tahun tidak lah lama... i have to cheer myself up everynight and every morning because i'm just to affraid going to school and meet my seniors :| kejadian di sekolah banyak bgt... gak mungkin di ceritain disini.. dan apalagi hal yg terjadi jumat lalu.. sukses bikin gue trauma dan entah kuat ke sekolah senin atau enggak, you may say i'm 'lebay' but you on't know how hard it is being an utas cause you're not.... dan bagaimanapun pihak" ngelarang cerita" ke siapa aja gue tetep setia bercerita sama mamaku tercinta and you know what... she asked me to move hellyeah gue langsung seneng... tapi sangat bergumul karena gue masih nunggu pengumuman CIBI... gue bener" punya feeling gue ga diterima :( sedih bgt ye, tapi it's good cause i've prepared my self for the worst even i still hope for the best :) yah bsa di bilang cuman ada 2 pilihan 'hello CIBI' atau 'goodbye 70 bulungan' :D just see later.. dan kehidupan di rumah opung, tinggal sama 2 tante dan 1 om tidak lah terlalu sepi... karena gue juga udah sibuk pulang skolah hrus les.. atau kadang kalo gak les tidur dulu bangun lngsng belajar... jadi even i dont have any brothers or sisters there to share with gue juga udah disibukkan... dan yeaaaah aku sudah besar lohhh pagi" sih msh di anter skolah tapi i go home naik bus \m/ ke les dan pulang skolah hehehe yah capek hrus jalan jauh juga but anyway siapa tau gue bsa kurus hahahahahahaa dan sekarang udah gapernah berantem sama mama lagi hehe ya gimana enggak tiap hari dia bbm cman bilang kangen blablabla trus kalo balik ke rumah ya di ajak jalan".. trus skrg juga dia makin baik... udah bebas aja pergi" mau kemana aja mau ampe jem brapa aja hehe kasian kali ya sama gue senin-kamis tersiksa cman bsa skolah-les-belajar D: gak taudeh mau crita apalagi hehehe may be it's enough...... bye :D

"I wish I could see through your eyes so I would know what you like to see. I wish I knew your wishes, so I could give you everything you want. I wish I dreamed the same dreams you do, and together we could make them come true. I wish I knew what makes you happy, so I could make you the happiest person in the whole world. And lastly, I wish I were a cell in your blood, so I would be sure I was somewhere in your heart."